Monday, August 23, 2004

Life gets away from you sometimes

It's been most of a year since I started this blog, and this is only my second post. That always happens with my journals, too. And my artwork. And my remodeling projects. And my gardens ...

The first step is not always the hardest. For me, it's the second step. Where do I go from here?

I don't have an exotic background to draw from. I still live in the area where my mother's family has lived for at least five generations. My father was an average guy from Brooklyn who served in WWII and worked a blue-collar job for thirty years after that. English is the only language in which I'm fluent. I have a college degree, but not a master's. I'm nobody special.

So let's stay away from the politics and philosophy for a little bit, and start with ... gardening. Yeah, gardening. That's the ticket.

I have the distinction of having written one article for publication. Here it is:

Beautiful invader: Poison parsnip is lovely, but it burns


You might have noticed it like I did: an itchy rash that turned into blisters. I figured I'd gotten into poison ivy again, though I couldn't remember seeing any.

When it got so bad I went to the doctor for a prescription, he called it "contact dermatitis." That's the medical term for "You got into something that causes a rash."

Somebody tried to tell me it wasn't poison ivy; it was poison parsnip. I just laughed. I'd never heard of the stuff. And the name sounded ridiculous.

When they described it, I told them that couldn't affect me, because I'd played in acres of it when I was a kid.

But after two summers of suffering, I started looking around. What I found was a familiar plant growing around the edges of my yard.

It had leaves like celery and a thick stalk as tall as I was, with a flower like Queen Anne's Lace, but greenish yellow.

I tested it. (Don't try this at home.) I actually rubbed a little of the leaf on my arm.
Guess what? Itch. Rash. Blisters.

I had poison parsnip.

Poison parsnip (Pastinaca sativa) is a fast-spreading import from Eurasia. It grows anywhere, especially along roadsides and mowed areas. Mowing actually causes it to flourish, because it cuts out the competing vegetation and allows the parsnip to shoot up into the sun.

The sap causes a photodermic reaction. That is, it makes your skin extremely sensitive to ultraviolet light.

In effect, it gives you a second-degree burn. It can leave a brown scar that may last for years.

And unlike poison ivy, nobody is immune.

The sap is produced in every part of the plant, including the flowers, and is absorbed into skin in less than 30 minutes. It takes a day or two to produce the rash.

Poison parsnip has a long taproot, so it's as hard to eradicate as dandelions. If you remove it before it goes to seed, though, you have a much better chance of control.

If there's more than you can dig up, check with a garden center for the best chemical control.

I've found by research and personal experience a few tricks to beat the itches:

* Wear sunblock. Lots of it. Everywhere. If the UV rays don't reach your skin, you won't get burned.
* When working around the plant, wear a long-sleeved shirt and heavy pants; use leather -- not cloth -- gloves with gauntlets; and protect your eyes with glasses or goggles.
* Avoid rotary trimmers (weed whackers) or mowers that throw shredded plant material.
* If you are exposed, avoid sunlight -- and even indoor fluorescent lights, if possible.
* If you develop blisters, don't moisturize. Use a drying calamine-type lotion or spray.

Poison parsnip? It sounds silly, but it's no laughing matter.


(Published in The (Glens Falls, NY) Post-Star, 06/08/2003.)

Later edit: I would add that you should take off and wash the clothes that were exposed to the plant right away, and ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS wear sunblock!

Also, a near-heavenly bliss if you do get to the itchy point, but not the yellow blisters: Run water as hot as you can stand -- NOT hot enough to scald -- over the area. It may itch more at first, then sting a little, then feel ooooooooohhhh so good. The effect lasts from a few minutes to a few hours.

There's actually an explanation for this. Apparently the heat speeds up both the production and the destruction of natural histamines, which cause the itching.

The plant is a biennial, which means it flowers its second year. This is what it looks like the first year (this one is about a foot tall):